Over the last several weeks I have been revising and updating my 2008 book Small Loans, Big Dreams about microfinance (which was originally published as Give Us Credit in 1996) in order to come out with a new 2022 edition in August in partnership with Rivertowns Books. It has taken more time than I imagined, and the process has provided me with an opportunity to think about my own development as a writer, professional, and human being. In particular, it has allowed me to reflect on the power of words to inspire, affirm, and hurt others.
The work of getting the new edition ready for publication had some obvious elements to it: describing what happened to the people and organizations profiled in the book since 2008, correcting some minor typos and errors, and adjusting verb tenses to reflect that it is 14 years later. Other aspects of the job have been more nuanced and thought-provoking. For example, certain terms, such as “Third World,” were in common use in the mid-2000s but have since taken on the character of being antiquated or even offensive. I replaced them with more acceptable alternatives. In some cases, expressions or analogies I used in earlier editions were arguably inappropriate when I originally wrote them, and I can only see that now. Obviously, those have been changed as well.
In other cases, I noticed how I would occasionally offer gratuitous criticism of someone else that served no literary purpose. For example, for some reason, when I mentioned a book that I liked, I was moved to write that it was “not widely read.” Why did I say something that would be hurtful to that author? I don’t really have a good answer. But I took it out this time. I will return shortly to the idea of hurtful words.
Among progressives, I am probably not the first to adopt the latest politically correct terms. On some level, I believe that being hyper-vigiilant about using the latest lingo is a poor substitute for actually doing something about social or ecological injustices. The rapid evolution of what is deemed appropriate terminology can serve as a trap for people who are too busy doing constructive things to constantly police their own speaking and keep up with the latest trends. I found this article expressed some of my thoughts on the topic very well. It explores examples of the euphemism treadmill – such as going from “pregnant woman” to “people who are pregnant” to “birthing people” – and the tendency of some people to shame others who don’t keep up. It concludes with these words that rung true for me:
“Terminology will, of course, evolve over time for various reasons. But broadly speaking, thought leaders and activists of past eras put their emphasis on what people did and said — not on ever-finer gradations of how they might have said it.
“Far better to teach people what you think they should think about something, and why, instead of classifying the way they express themselves about it as a form of disrespect or backwardness. After a while, if you teach well, they won’t be saying what you don’t want them to say. Mind you, you may not be around to see the fruits of the endeavor — a frustrating aspect of change is that it tends to happen slowly. But `Change words!’ is no watchcry for a serious progressivism.”
At the same time, I do believe in minding what one says, especially if it is clear that certain words are likely to sting. Let me conclude with two examples from my personal life.
Recently, I was spending time with several generations of a family that I spend time with. The eldest among us, who is a kind and generous person, expressed his view that it was fine to use the “n-word” since Black Americans use it among themselves. He felt that the logical inconsistency gave him license to use this term himself (and he did so while we were discussing the issue).
I began to explain to him why I disagreed. The conversation went in a different direction, so I did not complete my thought, but this was what I intended to say: The issue is not whether using or not using a word or term is logical, but whether it is hurtful. If someone I cared about told me that using the word “kangaroo” was hurtful to them, I would stop using it immediately even without any explanation about why that was the case. If a couple of other people told me the same thing, I would stop using the word entirely, and use alternatives instead. Why spread hurt unnecessarily when using a synonym can prevent it? Logic has little role to play here, or perhaps we can simply say that logic and consistency are easily trumped by kindness and sensitivity.
Here's another example. A friend of mine whose political and cultural tastes are more conservative and traditional than mine said something along these lines: If people want to pretend that they are a woman when they are really a man, why do I need to pretend as well? I thought about this view of transgender people that feels antiquated to me, and how I might explain to my friend why what he felt was “pretending” actually made sense, in a way he could relate to. This is what I came up with, which was influenced by the fact that we both love bluegrass music.
I would give him this hypothetical: What if a mutual friend whom we admired and loved as a human being was an average musician, but we all knew that he thought that he was a great musician and also that his status as a musician was important to his feelings of identity and self-worth. Would we continually remind him that we thought he was not as good a musician as he thought he was, or would we “play along” and either be silent on the issue or affirm him as the musician he thought he was? I feel confident that both my friend and I would do the latter – because the former would be unnecessarily hurtful.
So, in what we write and speak, let’s try to keep up with terms that are appropriate, but let’s spend more time working on the underlying issues involved rather than on upbraiding people who aren’t keeping up with the latest lingo. And above all, let’s avoid using words and terms that you know to be hurtful to any person or group of people based on what they signal to you, whether or not their sensitvity appears logical, understandable, consistent, or defensible to you in the moment.
And finally, let’s remember these words of Maya Angelou that I wished I had taken on board earlier in my career and life: "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”